I am insane.

[link, food]

2005-07-06T19:25:59Z

And now for something completely different.

Yes, that is a POUND of cheese powder. I stare! Stare stare!

--

moominmolly: A POUND: http://www.clickbird.com/catalog/?Item=B00016LZT8&Mode=GourmetFood
moominmolly: For $5. And it's orange.

ladytabitha: Holy shit.

moominmolly: "Spray dried cheddar cheese". Mmm!

ladytabitha: *stare*

moominmolly: Nothin' says good like spray-dried!

ladytabitha: Dude, I say we order that.
ladytabitha: It's a pound! For $5!

moominmolly: Excellent.
moominmolly: I know! We could ...
moominmolly: We could make CHEESE BALLOONS!
moominmolly: This is not a good plan.

ladytabitha: *chokes; laughs*

moominmolly: IT WILL RAIN CHEESE!

ladytabitha: "My, the fog is pretty toniOH MY GOD THAT'S CHEESE"

moominmolly: *laughing*

ladytabitha: Cheese water! Cheese baths! CHEESE BEER!
ladytabitha: *dyin'*

moominmolly: "Oh, honey! You painted the steps! ... Uh, with CHEESE."
moominmolly: Cheeseade!

ladytabitha: No no - compress the cheese, and make cheese pencils!

moominmolly: Cheese, um, cake!

ladytabitha: Cheese paper? "Here's my resume, and it's nutritious, too!"

moominmolly: "So, 'blue or black ink only' -- that means no cheese?"

ladytabitha: Oh oh oh -
ladytabitha: Get the jello brain mold!
ladytabitha: CHEESE BRAINS.
ladytabitha: Whoa.

moominmolly: CHEESE BRAINS.
moominmolly: Can you make cheese jello?
moominmolly: You can get unflavored gelatin.

ladytabitha: Uh...
ladytabitha: I don't know!

moominmolly: Only the cheese knows!

ladytabitha: Only if it's made with deer hoofies, rather than horse hoofies.

moominmolly: Right! Deer hoofies are inherently cheesier.

ladytabitha: "Who knows what dairy product will strike next? The cheese powder knows!"

[rant.TV]

2005-03-01T03:35:13Z

Allow me to describe to you every CSI show ever ever.

---

The crime happens. For some reason, no one catches on to the fact that a crime scene investigator doesn't investigate people.

The lead guy glowers and is stern and stuff. He finds the suspect, who lies, because that's what they do. Sometimes they tell the truth, just to switch it up, but that just means they're really lying.

Science Happens. Woosh! It confirms that the first suspect has something to do with the original crime!

Suspect is brought into the Office Of Truth. Unable to resist the truth-rays, the suspect tells the truth.

More Science. Woosh! Unbeknownst to the viewers at home, all scientists were forced to superglue their hair to their head, to prevent stray strands from dropping into the DNA samples. They also had to wear clear face masks, which explains their acting.

The wily Science-O-Meter tracks down a better suspect, who is brought into the office in order to tell the truth nothing but.

Science Goes Woosh. Woosh! Now it's time for grisly stuff! Because you really wanted to know the inner workings of a knife going into someone's eyeball!

Is it a third person? Or does the woosh point to the first one again? Wacky hijinks ensue! Oh the funky suspense!

The lead guy glowers some more. Watch him glower. Doesn't he look a lot like William Macy? Well, he isn't. Glower glower glower.

And lo, a sudden twist at the end! It was the person you least suspected the most! Er, the least! Least most the least! Ah, whatever. Someone was caught, or something, and... that's... good. Yes! We all can get behind that, right?

In closing, the makers of the show would like to point out to you that the show is based on the fact that one person's observation of events (a) isn't the entirety of the matter and (b) he might be lying, so nyeah, you couldn't have figured that out on your own anyways, not unless you're a Crime ~~Scene~~ Investigator.

---

Dear god, I hate this show. On the bright side, I have the best icon for this rant.

Or I'll do a Milli Vanilli filk, to the subject of brain-no-worky.

2004-07-14T18:53:07Z

You said you couldn't think right
You can't think at all (at all)
You sacrificed your brainmeats
To satisfy your pride
Now you wished
That you should take meds (take meds)
And you feel like such a fool
You let it spiral away
Now it just don't feel the same
Gotta blame it on something
Gotta blame it on something

Blame it on your brain (brain)
Blame it on no meds (meds)
Whatever you do don't put the blame on you
Blame it on your brain yeah yeah
You can blame it on your brain
Get
Ooh, ooh (ooh)
I can't, I can't. I can't, can't stand the brain
I can't, I can't. I can't, can't stand the brain
Yeah, yeah
Should've told the doc you're damaged (damaged) huh
Could have said you were wrong
But no you couldn't do that. No, no
You had to prove you were strong ooh
If you hadn't been so stupid (stupid)
You might still be able to think
You want it back again
But it just don't feel the same
Gotta blame it on something
Gotta blame it on something

Blame it on your brain that was failing, failing
Blame it on no meds that could set you right
Whatever you do don't put the blame on you
Blame it on your brain yeah yeah

You can blame it on your brain
Cos your brain don't work
And your brain don't think
You got to blame it on something
(Blame it on your brain)
(Blame it on no meds)
Whatever you do don't put the blame on you
Blame it on the rain yeah, yeah
You can blame it on the rain
Dude

Ooh, ooh (ooh)
Dude
I can't, I can't. I can't, can't stand your brain
I can't, I can't. I can't, can't stand your brain

Get
Dude
(Whatever you do...)
(Blame it on your brain yeah, yeah) x 3
You can blame it on your brain, blame it on your brain,
blame it on your brain baby
(Blame it on your brain yeah yeah)
Blame it on no meds that could set you right
(Blame it on your brain yeah yeah)
Blame it, blame it on your brain
woo
I'm thinking
I'm thinking

Thinking with my brain
Thinking with my brain

(Brain, brain)
(Meds, meds)
Whatever you do don't put the blame on you
(Blame it on your brain)
yeah yeah
(Blame it on your brain)
that keeps failing, failing
(Blame it on the meds)
that could set you right
Whatever you do don't put the blame on you
Blame it on your brain yeah yeah
Blame it on your brain (brain, brain)

dies of the giggle

2004-06-25T22:03:50Z

This is why moominmolly is rox:

Molly: !!
Molly: Good night!!
Molly: Bunniez love you!!
Molly: And sing you to sleep with their creepy bunny siren song!!
Molly: bunny song!! bunny song!! now we eat your heads!!

Xtina: *laughs helplessly*
Xtina: bunny song!! bunny song!! soon you will be deds!

Molly: *laugh!*
Molly: Yes!! You know it!!

Xtina: bunny song!! bunny song!! and we'd like some lettuce!!
Xtina: bunny song!! bunny song!! zombies don't upset us!!

Molly: bunny song!! bunny song!! now you're all awake-like!!
Molly: bunny song!! bunny song!! we'll eat your young whole, snake-like!!

Xtina: bunny song!! bunny song!! if you leave brains, we'll grab it!!
Xtina: bunny song!! bunny song!! because we're CREEPY RABBITS!!

Molly: *giggling*

Today's world's quickest something words huh?

2004-06-09T21:08:18Z

So, I have won the victory over myself, and I love ~~big brother~~ rosefox.

And if I start talking about it, I will just talk about it forever, so instead I will leave it at that.

A poem!

2004-05-10T20:26:06Z

Or, "There's something maniacally wrong with Xtina."

The Passionate Xtina to Her Bitch:

Come live with me and be my Bitch
And you will fit a special niche
Within my queen-sized greenish bed
Within my sewage-laden head

There will you sit upon a shelf
Until I call you to myself
To perform acts of nature strange
And thus your brain will be deranged

There will I make thee do my bidding
No, I truly am not kidding
Though you might try to evade,
All your "thoughts" I shall invade

I'll tie you up and call you names
And play some truly fiendish games
With your poor mind and your lost soul
I'll take your hide and take my toll

You'll cower down, and yet you'll come
You'll willingly, 'fore me, succumb
And if before this, you don't flinch,
Come live with me and be my Bitch.

I'll care for you, so gentle now
I'll wipe the sweat from off your brow
Then I'll be cruel, and rough, and mean
And I'll put you through vicious scenes

I'll torment you both night and day
And you'll stay with me anyway
If these delights make your mind itch,
Then live with me and be my Bitch.

This is for the <lj user

2004-03-16T19:51:38Z

I had to do it. I had to do it. I had to do it. *rocks in place*

To the tune of "I'll Be There For You", by Bon Jovi:

I guess this time you're finished reading
I heard the Webster's slamming shut
And as my fingers sit here bleeding
(I always get these papercuts)

You say you've over a thousand words
In your vocab database
You leave me flound'ring, thoughts unheard
And I can't keep a straight face

Now I'm logged on Priceline, to find a flight to you, girl

[chorus:]
I'll eat all your brains
I'll make sure that none remain
I just want to make it absolutely plain
I'll eat all your brains
I'll fly out just to eat your brains
This is my new meal campaign
Words can't make this any more plain
I will eat your braaains

"I know you know" is our favourite catchphrase
"Figured figured!" a shortened form
I can promise you that these will
Make it in my Xicon

And baby I know you have tasty brains
I just wanted to share your idiolect
I'll buy you OED entries for your birthday
You're my favourite intellect

[chorus]

I can't be there when you are happy
I can't be there when you are down
I didn't mean to live on the East coast
Far away from your own West coast town

[chorus]

Another Neologism

2001-07-20T16:47:05Z